Humiliation is often the best way to humility

2025 UCI ICS Project Expo winners for Computer Science

Most of our growth happens in isolation. It’s the result of staying faithful to your craft, even when no one is watching. It can feel lonely sometimes, but it’s never wasted. And if you’re fortunate enough for a time to come when the effort is brought to light, you’ll be ready to step forward.

Last week, my teammates and I had the privilege of delivering a live MVP demonstration for a capstone project sponsored by Raytheon at their facility in Fullerton. My teammates and I presented in front of their senior leadership, people who carried decades of experience. I was in charge of the opening, introducing my team and providing the technical context of the problem we were solving.

During rehearsals, I had no trouble reciting my lines. But ten minutes before we went live, senior managers and engineers filed in, and the atmosphere started to shift. Eventually, the room settled, and all eyes turned towards the front of the room.

I started well, but on my final slide, it happened. I froze.

I found myself staring into the crowd, completely overwhelmed by the silence. I became hyper-aware of everything–my posture, the way people were looking at me, and the “what-ifs” racing through in my mind. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see my teammates’ concern. For a few seconds, it felt like everything stopped. The silence felt like an eternity. Finally, I had to do the one thing I promised I wouldn’t: I apologized, pulled out my phone, and read my last two lines before passing the microphone to the next speaker.

The presentation turned out to be a success. We ate lunch with the Raytheon employees afterward, and by all accounts, I had done my job. My teammates had already forgotten the mess-up. But I couldn’t let it go. Those 15 seconds kept playing through my mind.

The truth was that I had only given myself the night before to practice. I thought my short-term memory could carry me through, but when it mattered most, I lost it.

One week later, we were at the UCI ICS Capstone Showcase. The audience was much bigger: judges, competitors, and friends. The stakes were different. But so was I. I spoke. And there was no need for apology. We ended up securing 2nd place within the Computer Science department.